I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
