Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
