maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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