If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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