You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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