1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
tell me about the eggs
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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