last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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