Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
