is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize