your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
