I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize