shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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