I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
