i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think my tv is drunk
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
