How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
