Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
