people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
