Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Houston, we have a squirter
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
