I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
and she was petting her beer can
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
