Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
