do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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