I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
