So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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