So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
