This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We need to get me chipped asap
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
