I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
