official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
