I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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