we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
