just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
