Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This baby is an asshole
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize