You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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