my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just want to make out with him forever
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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