Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
that may or may not have been my penis.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
