Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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