i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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