He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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