You're completely useless in the revolution.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
