I accidentally had phone sex last night
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
