Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
