How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize