laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
