so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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