i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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