Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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