I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
no you cant smoke seaweed
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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