Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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