You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
