I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i drank out of a bidet.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
