apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
