I should be sponsored by Trojan
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
