she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
