i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
They took my balls.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
