She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
