"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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