But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
