So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
