either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize