what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I cut my penus on the lid.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize