theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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