I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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