Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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