We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
