I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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