my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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