lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
