Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
