; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
