i just had sex bonerless
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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