Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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