You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
