this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
