it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
