worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
