That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
