hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
